Starless Sky
by Curious Girl
Summary: My sky was starless before he came into my life. With him, the stars are sparkling like diamonds, although we did have our problems. Problems , which go beyond him and me. Problems, which will haunt us. Problems, which may take my stars away. Forever. Sequel to Slow down the sun!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1:**

Darkness.

Darkness is all that surrounds me.

Me and my thoughts.

Am I dead? Have I died saving this child? I can't help but remember the fortune teller in Santa Monica about five months ago. What was her name again? I can't remember it. But I can remember the way she looked like. Her floral chiffron maxi skirt, her crop top which showed her toned stomach... The many necklaces she wore as if they could cover something... Or rather protect her from danger, looking back now. And the earrings... The huge silver earrings, which seemed too heavy to be hanging on the earlobs. Her dark brown locks. She had really curly and really long hair. Her dark red lipstick and black cateye... Her dark brown, nearly black eyes.

Why do I remember her now? And what was her name?

Maybe, I am dead. Maybe, I did indeed chose to go after that fucking bright light... No, I'm pretty sure no bright light would welcome me. I mean, with my past... Yeah, definitely no light for me.

Farrah... Her name was Farrah! But why the fuck am I thinking of Farrah right now?!

It's so strange... I mean, why would I remember her now? She was just a weird woman who made money by telling people what they wanted to hear.

What did she tell me again?

_You die because he saves your life._

I frown. Her voice starts ringing in my ears. She keeps on saying the same sentence over and over and over again. Sometimes it's a whisper, other times she nearly yells at me.

But she doesn't stop.

For minutes.

For hours.

For an eternity.

* * *

Okay, this fucking darkness is getting on me nerves. Why am I stuck here? And why the fuck can't I see anything?! As in... _ANYTHING?!_

_And why the fuck can I only hear my thoughts?!_ MY THOUGHTS, for Christ's sake! This is so... So weird.

So lonely...

Yes, lonely.

I choose to wait. Wait for God knows what. Wait for the darkness to clear up. Wait to stop hearing my thoughts. Wait for the fucking foretune teller to stop saying those words. I wait for nothing and everything.

And I wait for a fucking long time.

* * *

I feel nothing, I recognize. I feel no pain. I feel absolutely nothing. Oh my God, what if I lost my legs? My arms? My limbs?! Is there anything worse than losing your limbs? Oh fuck!

Fuck, this isn't good! Feeling nothing is not good. It's not a good sign. This is a bad sign...

A really bad sign.

* * *

I frown as the darkness slowly clears up, creating dark grey smoky visions. Well, I still can't see anything and I am still left with my damn thoughts, but at least I get to see a color!

A dark, smoky grey... It is something new, though.

"Where is she?" I hear a voice asking. It's really silent. It's almost a whisper... I barely heard it, actually.

Wait, why do I hear a voice? Am I...am I actually hearing someting other than my damn thoughts?! Are my ears actually still okay? Am I able to hear? That's good news.

I'd rather know if I still have my limbs though.

I don't hear a response. I try to concentrate really hard, but out of the sudden I feel a headache. A fucking strong headache. It hurts really badly.

Wait, I am feeling pain, aren't I? That's... That means I still have my head. I mean, obviously I still have my head because I am thinking and stuff, but that means... Well, it means that I hurt my head somehow.

How did I hurt my head?

Why am I feeling pain?

What caused all of this?

The dark grey smoky color vanishs until it's black again.

Fuck, I am stuck with my thoughts again...

And with the headache.

* * *

Pain. I feel nothing but pain. A _big_ amount of pain.

After another eternity the darkness clears up again. This time the grey is a little lighter than last time. My head still hurts like hell. I automatically try to concentrate, ignoring the pain in my head, trying to hear something. Anything actually. I'd be fine with a couple of birds tweeting or a fucking car rushing by. Anything, really.

I don't mind whatever it is.

But I hear nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

It's silent. Like before.

Fuck! Why can't I hear anything?! I want to hear something! _Anything_!

"How is she?"

I expected anything, anything... but him. Anything but his voice. It's a shock. A shock that his voice is filled with so much pain, so much sorrow... That he sounds so broken. He whispered it. I barely heard it, actually. But it was his voice, I am sure. I would recognize his voice anywhere.

Troy's voice.

"Well, " I hear a female clearing her throat, "Her vitals are alright. Her bloodpressure got us worried for a while, but it's back to normal now. She had several internal bleedings, which we managed to get under control, thankfully. She has a capillary fracture on one of her rips, but this should heal within a couple of days. She has a concussion, which isn't so bad either, but it causes her to be unconscious right now. All in all, she managed to come out quite fine in this car crash. She should wake up in a couple of hours."

I... I was in an accident? I was in a... In a car crash? Why was I- Oh my God! The little girl and her teddy bear! Now I remember... I saved her from the black cab and got hit by the cab myself. Fuck.

My baby! What about my baby! Is my baby okay? Is it... Is she still alive? HOW IS MY BABY DOING?!

"And the baby? Is the baby okay?" Troy asks, whispering it once more.

"Well..." her voice disappears as the light grey turns into black again.

NO! NO! NO! Fuck, no! I need to hear her answer! Is my baby okay?

His voice keeps ringing in the darkness. _Is the baby okay?_

The question repeats itself again and again, making me more worried with every single time it gets asked.

* * *

I try to open my eyes. No, actually I am ripping them mentally open. But they just won't open! Why can't I open my eyes? I am still stuck in this fucking darkness. I am sick of this. Sick of being unable to see anything. Anything but darkness. But this fucking starless sky.

Suddenly, I feel something like a little weight on my upper body. Am I going to have an heartattack? No, no that would not be logical... I mean, I wouldn't get any air then. Which is not the case. No, it must be something else.

"Don't leave me..." I hear him whispering before I feel his cheek on the back of my hand. "I can't live without you. Without both of you."

Am I feeling him? Is it Troy who I am feeling? Is it him? _Oh Troy..._ No, I won't leave you. I may have left you a fucking thousand times, but I won't leave you this time. _We_ won't leave you, do you hear me? Do you hear me?!

The weight on my chest disappears. Wait, where are you going?! Don't leave me here alone! Not when I am suddenly starting to feel something other than this fucking headache!

Don't... Don't leave me. Please. _Please_.

Too late, the feeling is gone. He left me.

Fuck!

Suddenly the darkness vanishs. The black transforms into a dark grey, a light grey, a really light grey and then nothing.

I am stuck in darkness again. Damn it.

Wait no! No, there's some light there. Something very bright. Is it... Is it a star? No, that wouldn't be logical... But then again, nothing is logical right now. What is that bright spot?

I focus on the bright spot and it gains size. Slowly, but it does. Am I... Am I opening my eyes? I feel my heavy eyelids... they're really heavy.

Out of the sudden I open my eyes. Just like that. It somehow surprises me... but it's a good sign... right? I am no longer unconcious... that's good.

The first thing I see is light. A bright, bright... very bright light, actually. It's a lamp. The lamp was my star... It was a lamp.

I grin before feeling the pain of the headache now hitting me without no warning. Damn it, it fucking hurts!

My blurry vision focuses slowly and I recognize an indigo painted wall across me. I see a dark wooden table standing on the left side in front of the wall. Flowers are placed on it. Peonies. Pink Peonies. They offer a _beautiful _contrast to the indigo colored wall. My favorite flowers in the world. They're so beautiful.

My eyes move futher west and I see a window. A huge french window actually. It shows me that it is in the middle of the night. The stars are shining, creating a soft light in this room. In this hospital room. In front of the window stands a silver suitcase. Why is a suitcase standing here?

I hear a noise coming from outside and move my head to the east. Too quickly, I realize as my headache shows me it's strength. God, I would do anything for painkillers right now. Anything!

The dark wooden doors opens silently and a strike of lights fills the room, blending my vision. It's too light and my eyes aren't used to the bright light yet. The strike of light gets interrupted, coating my eyes in a dark shadow. It takes me a second to realize that it's a silouette. A man who is showing me his back...

The man turns around and stops in his movement as his eyes lock with mine. His crystal blue eyes... My breath gets stuck in my lungs. Never have those eyes looked more beautiful than now. It's amazing. His eyes are breathtaking... _He_ is breathtaking.

And broken.

He looks so... so sad... so fucked-up on an emotional level.

"I thought you left me." I whisper to him, who stands still shocked in door frame.

It takes him a second to realize that I am talking. No, actually more than just a second. He stands totally shocked in the doorway, yet his mouth hasn't fallen open. It's his eyes which, as always, show me what he holds inside of him. How many emotions are mixed up inside of him.

About a minute elapses before he closes the door and rushs over to me, kissing my dry lips softly. His eyes are wide with shock. Full of worry. Full of pain. Full of love. Full of... Anything and everything. "I would never leave you, my angel. Never." he says and I can see his eyes tearing up. It breaks my heart, seeing him in so much pain. The pain I'd like to take away from him. It's the kind of pain which is by far worse than my headache, because it's an emotional pain. A pain which tears my heart apart. A pain he shows me with just one glance.

I smile at him before rising my hand and brushing through his sandy brown hair, "Tell me our baby is okay."

She is all I care about.

* * *

**The new story everyone! I hope you enjoyed reading this, rather short, chapter. Please review!**

**Xoxo Nic**

**P.S.: The new semester starts for me in a couple of days, which means I will have more time to write. I've been doing three assignments in the last two months (which was a horrible idea, looking back now, because usually you write like one, maybe two, but never ever three! I learned my lesson ;).**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

He smiles softly at me, "She's fine. Healthy. There was no damage at all."

I let out a big sigh - I didn't even realize that I was holding my breath. "Oh thank God!" I say, brushing through my hair. Wait a second, did he say- "You know..." I say, a little disappointed that I didn't have the chance to inform him about the sex of our baby.

"Yes. The doctor said it, it just... Slipped out of her mouth, I guess." he says with a shrugg. "A girl..." he says, dreamy, placing his hands on my still flat belly.

"Our daughter." I say grinning before he kisses me. "Seems like you were right."

"Huh?" he asks me frowning.

He doesn't remember? "The night you were drunk in my bedroom, you... You kept saying that I won't have time for you, because of her. You were so convinced that our baby would be a female... You sounded so sure, I mean as sure as you could in your very drunken state."

He chuckles, "I promise that this won't happen again. Ever."

I fondle his cheek, "As long as you come back to me, do whatever you want."

He looks me in the eyes, "I'm staying with you. I won't leave you. Ever."

"Is that why you left France so quickly?" I say, referring to the silver suitcase in front of the window.

He frowns at me and I wonder if I said something wrong. "Right, you don't know it yet..."

My confused look explains it all. Has... Has something happened? Is something wrong with Lucas? Or is... Is it Mils? Has something happened to Kelsi? Or Amy? Is everything okay with Ryan? What the hell happened?! "What exactly don't I know... yet?" I ask him slowly, feeling a chill going down my spine.

"My plane got delayed for about an hour. That's why I left my house about an hour later as planned, a little less maybe. I called myself a black cab, which drove me to the Heathrow airport. We drove through the Oxford street, but got stuck in traffic due to an accident with a passenger. It turns out that the accident was your crash with another black cab."

_Oh..._ So, it was my fault that he missed his flight. Damn it, Gabriella! You always ruin everything! "Did you miss your flight because of me?" I ask him, "I'm so sor-" his hand on mine stops me from talking.

"I missed my flight, indeed. But as it turns out, my plane which was set to land in Paris two hours ago, never landed."

I frown at him. Why?

"It crashed in the Atlantic ocean an hour after takeoff. No one survived." he explains slowly.

Wait, does that mean... I mean, did I really... Is he really saying...?!

"You saved my life, Gabriella." he emphasizes, his bright blue eyes reflecting nothing but gratitude.

Oh my God! My mouth drops open. I... _Saved_ his life? He... Oh God! What if he had taken this plane? I mean, he'd be... OH God, no! No!

Uncontrollably, tears start streaming down my face and I start to sob.

"Hey, shh..." Troy whispers in my ear, hugging me as I sob into his wonderful light blue oxford shirt. "Everything's okay. I am here... I am here." he tries to calm me down.

It takes me a minute or two to get myself to form any words. No actually, it takes an eternity, but eventually I do have the strength to talk again. "But what if-"

"No what ifs. I am here." he says into my eyes, "And I'm not going anywhere." he whispers, wiping away the last tear from my eyes. "I am here because of you."

"Because I decided to throw myself in front of a black cab in order to save a little girl's life."

His features darken for a second or two. "Yes." he agrees with me, "Normally, I'd be more than mad at you, but under these circumstances I can... I can only thank you." he says before kissing me.

I lean forward to deepen the kiss, but feel a pain in my chest out of the sudden. The fracture on my rip... Right, totally forgot about that.

He lets go as I whine, "Are you okay?"

I nod, "I just forgot about the rip, that's all."

"Never do that again." he says into my eyes, "Especially not if you're pregnant. You were more than just reckless yesterday. You put your life at risk and the life of our daughter."

I nod, "Never again." I promise him. God, what if I had killed my daughter? A shiver runs down my spine. I'd never forgive myself then.

"Good." he says, smiling in a dreamy way once more as he fondles my cheek, "God, I am so glad that you're okay... Both of you."

I smile weakly at him. Out of the sudden I am so tired. "Me, too."

He shakes his head, "I didn't know what I'd do without you... Never in my life have I felt so scared, Gabriella. Not even when you told me you were expecting. Compared to the horror I felt when a nurse called me to tell me you're in St. Mary's, it was nothing. Leaving you back then was stupid and reckless and-"

I shut him of with a kiss, ignoring the pain in my chest successfully. "I love you, too. I am okay. I am here. We are fine, do you hear me?"

"You have no idea how much you mean to me..." he whispers, placing his forehead against mine. "I'd give my life for you. For both of you."

"Me too." I say back and chuckle, "Obviously."

"I love you so much, my angel. More than you could imagine."

"I love you, too." I say simply before kissing him passionately, "And now get your sexy ass in the bed of mine."

He frowns at me.

I sigh, "I am serious. You know that I sleep better with you in the same bed as me."

His lips form a grin before he climbs into the bed and covers me with the blanket.

"How long was I unconscious?"

"Sixteen hours." he says, looking at his platinum Omega watch.

"A fucking long time..."

"A fucking long time, indeed." he agrees with me as I rest my head on his chest. I can hear his steady heartbeat, almost hear his blood rushing through his veins. One of my favorite sounds in the world.

"I am sorry for scaring you like this." I mumble, "Have you heard something from the little girl? Is she alright?"

He nodds, "She was a little scared, but that's all. Her mother sent you flowers with a get well card. She said that she was thankfull... I mean, you saved Gina, that's the name of the girl by the way."

"Gina..." I say, trying out how the name sounds like. "No, we won't name our daughter Gina."

He chuckles, "Already thinking about babynames, aren't we?"

I shrug, "Now that we know the sex, the real fun can beginn."

"Oh, I'm sure Ryan and Miley will love decorating the nursery... But we have to find a house first."

I nod. True, we still haven't found a house yet. We've been looking for a whole month, but either Troy or me wasn't pleased when we visited a house. "We're going to find a house, Troy. A house which will be perfect for our little family."

"Would you like to expand?"

"What?" I ask him confused, "How can you expand a house when we don't even have one yet?"

He smiles at me, "I meant our family."

I am just pregnant with my first child and he's already thinking about _more children_?! First he doesn't want _any_ children and now he wants a soccer team? Talk about extremes. "I... I don't know. Do you?"

"I think so. I'd love to have a son with you. At least another child. I don't want her to be lonely... Siblings are awesome and very important for the intellectual development of a child."

"Oh, if it's about the psychological health of our daughter, then yeah I think we will have more children. In our home. Which we hopefully soon find. Like, really soon."

He smiles, before he brushs through my hair, "Gabriella?"

"Mhm?" I ask him with closed eyes, enjoying the feeling of his fingers in my hair.

"I can't wait to see our children play in our backyard..." he says.

I want to reponse, but my mouth resists talking. Instead, I fall into a deep deep sleep.

And I dream of our children, who play in our backyard while we stand in the wintergarden, watching them at a sunny afternoon.

* * *

**A new chapter, everyone! This semester is already a lot of work for me, so I'm probably going to be able to post a new chapter roughly every week or so. Hope you enjoyed reading it. ****Please review!**

**Xoxo Nic**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

The afternoon sun is shining inside my hospital room as I am packing my clothes, folding each piece before placing it into a suitcase.

After a pretty long debatte this morning, Troy finally went home to shower and all. He was pretty surprised when I called him thirty minutes ago, telling him that I was able to check out some time around this evening. To be honest, I was surprised myself. I thought that the doctors wanted to keep me here for at least another night, but my vitals were all okay - so were the tests they ran with me. That's why they will release me in a couple of hours.

A knock on the door interrupts my thoughts and keeps me from continuing packing.

"Come in!" I yell as I place a tiny bag into the suitcase.

The door gets open, "Are you dressed?" I hear Ryan asking, popping his head in.

I chuckle as I watch him walking over to me, pulling me into a very long - and very tight - hug. "It's so good to see you!" I mumble, still hugging him close.

"It's fucking good to see you alive. Both of you." my blue eyed brother says smiling. "You fucking scared us, Gabi."

"I know... I know. I already had _that_ talk with Troy. Won't do it again. Ever." I promise.

"Good." he says, nodnoding. "How are you?"

"Better. My head is fine and even my rip is somehow okay. No sex for the next week though..."

"Oh, now that's going to be tough." Ryan says chuckling, "How's my niece?"

"All fine... All healthy, thank god. I would have never forgiven myself if something had happen..." I say, feeling the urge to cry out of the sudden.

"Oh no, are you going to cry? Don't cry, Gabs!" Ryan says, pulling me in a hug.

I take a deep breath, "I'm okay... I just... My hormones are going crazy, I guess." I say with a shrug, "Are you okay? How was the traffic to the hospital?"

"The traffic was fine, just getting into St. Mary's was a little harder than expected..." he mumbles, grinning a little.

I frown at him, "Why?"

"Because of the thousands of paparazzi out there."

"Wait, out there? Are they right in front of the hospital?!" I ask him confused.

"Right, you have no idea..."

"I don't have a television in this room, which is very odd by the way, so no I have no idea."

"Troy had the nurses remove it so..."

He had what?! "What?! Why? Is here some celebrity, I don't know about?"

"Yes." Ryan says as I walk over to the window.

"Who?" I ask him, looking out of the window. Fuck, that's a lot of paparazzi out there! It's impossible to count them all, but if I had to guess about sixty or fifty. Most of them hold their cameras, but some even have camcorders.

"You." Ryan says simply.

I frown. "M-Me?!" I ask him confused. I am not some celebrity. I am just... me. Gabriella Montez. "But I am not a celeb, Ry."

"Oh, you are. First of all, you are the daughter of Victoria Evans, _the_ socilaite of New York, London and Paris. Second, you are an _amazing_ songwriter and producer! Third, you are _Troy Bolton's girlfriend_. No, actually you're the mother of his unborn daughter, but the world doesn't know this yet... And believe me after your accident you are more than just an average celeb, Gabs." Ryan starts explaining as my eyes are still glued to the window. There are so many fucking paparazzi! "Remember the interview you were suppose to have with Vogue?"

I nod, "It was set around the time I had my accident." And they are here because of me?!

"The journalist quickly got her fingers on the story of your accident - too quickly if you ask me. Instead of your interview, she published pictures of your accident - exclusive pictures which showed how you got hit by the car."

"She- She was there?!"

Ryan shakes his head, "No, I don't think so. The story also featured picture of you and Lucas in a café at the Oxford street."

"I had lunch with Luke before I walked back to the studio..."

"The story was titled _Montez caught in a romance again! This time, it's the other Bolton._"

"Wait, so she thinks that-"

"Lucas denied the headlines pretty quickly. Minutes after it had been published on the internet, he had already denied it and had them deleted the story."

"It's a ridiculous accusation anyway. The whole world knows that he is with Miley and not me."

"That's why not many journalists believed the story. But those pictures... Man, they were everywhere within a second!"

I frown. How horrible. I mean, how can someone take pictures of an unconcious woman who had just got hit by a black cab?! "So, the whole world knows that I had an accident."

"No, the whole world celebrates it's famous hero. They know you did it because of Gina."

"But they shouldn't... I mean, everyone would have done what I did. She's just a little girl."

"Now imagine how crazy the paparazzi went when they saw Troy Bolton rush into the hospital, looking like a ghost!"

_Oh_... That explains the many paparazzi. First my _heroric_ action and now my _ex-boyfriend_ rushs into the hospital. Oh well, guess now the whole world knows that we're together again.

"There're speculations about your relationship with Troy all over the internet and television. It's crazy." So, that's why Troy had them remove the television. He wanted to save me from all the press.

"As crazy as the paparazzi outside St. Mary's." I say before walking back to my suitcase.

"Who sent you the flowers?" Ryan asks me frowning.

I shrugg, "I didn't have time to look for a card yet. I thought they were either from you guys or Troy."

"They're not from me. I was in Rome with Kelsi. Lucas was with Miley somewhere up in the sky between France and England when the call came..." Ryan says, frowning. "Who sent you Peonies?"

"Perhaps Gina's mother."

"And she sent you Peonies?! Come on, Gabs that would be... Oh no!" Ryan says, a little shocked as he walks over to the roses.

"Is there a card?" I ask him as I fold the scarves and place them into the suitcase. Really, why did Troy brought me so many clothes?! Did he think I'd stay here for a month or something?

Ryan fishs out a beige card and reads it. "Oh, this is _so_ not good." Ryan mumbles, under his breath.

"What's wrong?" I ask him a little surprise. Who would sent me Peo- Oh fuck! "Are they from-?"

"Victoria." Ryan mumbles.

"Why would she-"

"You have to go." Ryan says a little hectic out of the sudden. "Do you have everything?"

I frown at him as I watch him zipping the suitcase, "Yes, but I still need a letter of diagnosis from the hospital."

"They will mail you this letter. You need to go. NOW."

"But why would you- Oh fuck! She's coming to London!" I say, shocked about my own shocked reaction. No, I don't want her here. Not here in London, yet alone in St. Mary's hospital. "Did she say that in the card?"

He nods as he places the suitcase on the floor.

"I don't want to meet her."

"She doesn't know that she's going to be a grandmother, does she?"

"Of course she doesn't. Don't be stupid and think that I told her." I say, rolling my eyes.

"Ready?" he asks me.

I nod, "Yes." I say before opening the door. I leave the Peonies in the room - suddenly they are not so beautiful anymore.

The hallway of St. Mary's is empty, well except for the nurses and the few doctors who are walking around. I've been staying in the private wing of the hospital, which really is pretty luxurious. I even had my very own nurses - Rose and Melinda. They switched shifts every now and then. Rose was my nurse during the day, while Melinda made sure I was okay in the night. They were absolutely necessary acording to Troy. Mhm, I completely disagree with him on that part, but I couldn't argue about that with him because I do understand him actually. I'd do the same if it were Troy who was in the hospital. But with male nurses of course.

Suddenly, I spot Rose standing behind the desk, talking to the other nurses who have the day shift. Her bright brown eyes connect with mine and for a second I think she's going to be angry with me. But as her lips form a soft smile, I know that that's not the case.

"Miss Montez, you should be in your room." she says, walking over to me.

"Can you send my letter with the diagnosis to my adress? I'd really like to leave right this moment."

The dark blonde frowns at me, "Of course we could do that. Dr. Pratt has already signed your check-out papers, so technically you're free to go. Shall I call you a cab?"

I shake my head, "No, I have a lift." I say, noding towards Ryan.

She smiles at him before her bright brown eyes focus on me again, "I apologize for being so personal, but your sudden wish to leave has nothing to do with your mother who just arrived in St. Mary's, does it?"

FUCK! She's here! She's already here! Fuck, fuck fuck! "I-" I take a deep breath, calm down Gabriella. Do _not_ make a scene. No scene, understand?! "Of course not. I just rather be home, you know."

She nods, "Well if it is _that_ case then I'd recommend leaving this way." she points behind her back. "It's a shortcut with an elevator for the staff only. Besides, it leads directly to the parking deck of St. Mary's."

"Perfect, that's where our car is." Ryan says smiling. "And is there a possi-"

Rose shakes her head, "Mrs. Evans will access the hospital via another way. The official way."

I'd like to hug her. She's my favorite nurse in the world! I wonder briefly if she could be my midwife as well. "Thank you, Rose."

"No problem, Miss Montez." she says, smiling softly at me. "We all know how exhausting mothers can be. Plus, this way you can escape the paparazzi who are waiting outside."

Shit, I totally forgot about the fucking paparazzi. God, I so don't want to see them.

I'm going to send Rose and Melinda some kind of Thank-You-Notes anyway.

"Have a safe ride and call me when something's wrong, alright?" she says smiling at me. Part of having two private nurses is that exactly those two nurses will be mine whenever I have to be in a hospital - no matter where I am, they will be flown over via plane if they have to. Plus, I got their cellphone numbers. I'm pretty sure it's a number from their cellphone for work, but it's still pretty great service, to be honest. I'm guessing Troy paid them enough for that... He actually paid for the whole stay. Something we have to discuss about when I meet him.

Oh, whatever! I pull the mid-thirty woman into a hug, she really is saving my fucking psychological health here. "I will. Goodbye."

"Goodbye, Miss Montez."

"Gabi, we really have to run." Ryan urges me.

Give me a fucking moment to say goodbye to my nurse, Ryan! I hiss at him with a glance, that turns him silent within a second. "Until next time."

"Which hopefully will be your delivery." she says before Ryan and me rush off.

"Your nurse rocks, Gabriella." Ryan says to me, grinning as we wait for the elevator to come.

"I know..." I say, reflecting his grin. She really does rock.

The elevator doors glide open with a ping and we step in.

"Thank God, she saved us from Victoria." I say as I push the P-button.

"I _so_ agree with you." Ryan says chuckling. "Who knew that-"

"Sh!" I interrupt him, hearing something in the hallway of St. Mary's.

"Mrs. Evans, Miss Montez just left the hospital." I hear Rose saying. Oh God, she's talking to Victoria! Will she blow my cover?

"I should have seen her, if she really just left. But I didn't. Where is my daughter?!" Victoria snaps at her.

Oh, she has absolutely no right to be angry about my absence!

Before I can hear Rose's reponse, the elevator doors glide close.

"Do you think Victoria knows?"

"About the accident? Pretty sure, yeah." Ryan answers my question as the elevator starts moving.

"I meant about my pregnancy."

He frowns, "I... I wouldn't bet on it. I'm not sure. Troy was definitely silent about that when he called her, but-"

"He called her?!" I ask Ryan in disbelief. "He fucking called her?!" I say again. "Who gave him the right to call Victoria?!"

Ryan looks at me, his bright blue eyes scaring me out of the sudden. "You got hit very hard by that car, Gabriella. It was pretty serious with your health condition. Both of you..."

I frown. "He didn't tell me that."

"The doctors even did lose your heartbeat for a moment once..."

"I was... I was _dead_?!" I ask him shocked. I was dead! Oh my God... I did die because I saved his life. Fuck that fortune teller was right! In a twisted way, she was right. But I died because I saved his life - not the other way, as she predicted. Fuck!

"Troy was fucking scared... I remember seeing him sitting on the leather chairs in the waiting area as you were still in surgery. They had to reanimate you in front of his eyes before they brought you into the O.R..."

A shiver runs down my spine. God, he really did meant it when he said that I fucking scared him.

"He looked... He looked like walking death, Ella." Ryan explains to me as the elevator doors open again. "His face was pale and his eyes were red and swollen... His hair was messy... I could nearly feel how he was feeling. It was such a devasting picture." he says, brushing through his hair as we walk over to the silver Porsche Boxter. "I'm pretty sure he would have killed himself if you were dead right now." he says as he unlocks the car with his key.

I don't know what to say. I'm just too shocked about this information. I thought I did fine... But guess not.

"He loves you more than anyone else." he explains as we climb into the car. "Never have I seen so much love, but this man he... He loves you unconditionally. He would do anything for you. Anything, Gabriella. Do you know how lucky you are?"

I nod and smile softly at him, although there are tears forming in my eyes. "I know..." I whisper. And I feel the same way.

"He didn't even recognize me at first. It took him a few minutes to realize that someone was sitting next to him on the leather chair. Looking back now, he must have praid. Praid for you and your daughter. He seemed like he was in his own world..."

_Oh Troy..._ A tear escapes my eyes and rolls down my cheek as Ryan starts the engine.

"When he talked to me, he... He tried to keep himself together. And he did succeed. He didn't cry or anything, but his voice... Boy, his voice was filled with _so much pain_. I nearly bursted because of this pain. It was horrible. Absolutely horrible."

I nod, staring out of the window as Ryan drives out of the parking deck of St. Mary's hospital. We driving another way than the visitors usually do. There are rarely any paparazzi, who are waiting for us.

About ten, I decide as my eyes scan them and their cameras, which are already taking pictures of me and Ryan. The flashlights are so annoying! Plus they cause my headache... I hope they won't be waiting for us at home.

A minute later we are alone on the road again. Thank god, they won't follow us home. At least they give us some kind of privacy.

"He asked me if he should call Victoria." Ryan continues his story at a red light, just in front of the bridge.

I look at him, "What did you say?"

"What do you think?"

"You said no." I say, because he does know me.

Ryan nods, "That's what I said. But Troy convinced me otherwise."

I frown, "How?"

"With that whole bond-story between a mother and her daughter. He was pretty resistant to the idea to not call her, to be honest. He said that you would need your mother, although you'd never acknowledge that."

"He still didn't get that I have no bond with my mother." I mumble. Why won't he understand that?!

"It's hard for him to understand, you know. I mean, Troy's relationship with his mother is not the best as well, but at least he still has some kind of relationship with her. I mean, he knows that there's a reason for her behaviour. Diana is sick. Depressive. But your mother-"

"She is not sick. It was her free will to treat me the way she has. It's different." I say and sigh, "Do you think he told Victoria about our daughter?"

Ryan shrugs, "I have no idea... Do you wish he had told her?"

"No. I'm not sure, I will tell her about her grandchild once she's born actually."

"You want to... Do you want to keep her a secret? From her own grandmother?!" Ryan asks me shocked.

I shrug, "I think it would be best for my daughter. She's better off without a grandmother."

"Doesn't she deserve to know that she has a grandmother?"

I shrug again. "Let's drop the subject."

"If Troy told Victoria about your baby, then this discussion is unnecessary anyway."

* * *

**A new chapter. I know it is ****_late_****, as in very, very, very late - I apologize! My studies have kept me ****_so busy_****. A lame excuse, I know.**

**Anyways, please, please, ****_please review! _****I love reading your comments (especially long comments)!**

**I'll try to upload the next chapter earlier.**

**Xoxo Nic**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4:**

The ringing doorbell keeps me from eating my gherkin with peanutbutter. I silently curse the person who rang the doorbell, because I'd really like to eat my gherkin.

"I'll get it!" I hear Ryan yelling from upstairs. Seconds later I hear him storming down the stairs and to the door.

Guess, I can eat my gherkin now anyways. I pop the gherking/peanutbutter mixture into my mouth. Mhm... Delicious. Just what I needed.

"She's in the kitchen..." I hear Ryan, mumbling.

"Why didn't you called me when you left the hospital, Gabriella?!" I hear Troy's angry voice as he walks into the kitchen.

I shiver. Angry Troy is not good. But then again, I am angry as well.

Seconds later he appears in the kitchen, stopping at the island. His eyes are glowing with anger. Yet, he is not furious... I have seen him furious and I'm hoping this will be a one time thing.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe because you didn't inform me that you had called my mother?!" I hiss back at him. "My mother, for Christ's sake!"

"That gives you no right to just disappear from the hospital!" he yells back at me.

"I did not just disappear from the hospital!" I yell at him. "I checked out."

"And when were you going to inform me about your check-out?!"

"After I have eaten my gherkin perhaps." I say back.

His eyes move down to the gherkin which is covered in peanutbutter and mustard. "Is that... Are you eating peanutbutter and mustard?! With a gherkin?"

I shrugg, "I feel like it. So, what?!"

He shakes his head before his eyes move up to me again, "Do you fucking know how I felt like when I got into St. Mary's and Rose had to inform me that you left?" he asks me, sounding angry but yet a smile is visible on his lips. Does he think this is amusing?

I bite on my lip, "You fucking called my mother!" I yell at him. "Why the fuck did you do that?! Is that... Why, Troy?! I just don't understand it! It's so-"

"Because I thought I lost you!" he interrupts me, yelling.

My mouth closes as I frown. He... He thought he lost me? Did he... Did he think I was dead? As in permanent dead? A shiver runs down my spine. I don't even want to imagine how he must have felt like.

"You fucking died in front of my eyes, Gabriella!" he says again, burying his hands in his sandy brown hair. He looks so helpless... So wrecked. This tears my heart apart. "And a mother deserves to know how her child is doing. No matter how fucked up their relationship might be."

"No she doesn't!" I start arguing with him.

"How would you have felt if our daugh-"

"Don't you dare compare our family to mine. We have absolutely nothing in common. NOTHING."

"Except for a pretty strong bloodline, Gabriella. Your mother deserves-"

"Stop calling her like that!" I interrupt him. She isn't my mother. She never was. She never will be.

"That's what she is. She gave birth to you and she loves you."

"She doesn't." I say back, being at the edge of crying. "She is _not_ my mother, do you hear me?!"

"She is your mother, Gabriella." he emphasizes, "And she deserved to know that her daughter, her very own flesh and blood, had been in an accident. Wouldn't you want to know, if something-"

"Stop it." I say, feeling tears rolling down my cheeks. "I am okay. There was no need in calling her. No need in bringing her to London."

"No need?! Gabriella, you _died_! You were _dead_! There was every need to call her. EVERY NEED!" he says to me. "Are you too stubborn to understand this?! Can you even imagine what it was like seeing you getting reanimated?! Not knowing if you were able to survive?! Let alone our daughter!" he says, shaking his head before he looks me into the eyes. This glance... This color... Those eyes... They wreck something deep, deep inside of me. God, please, don't make me feel how you felt like. Not now... Not when I am angry at you.

I look away in order to not feel the way he wants me to, "It was reckless of you to call her."

"It was reckless of _you_ to throw yourself in front of a car." he fights back.

"I don't need her!"

"You do!"

"No, I don't." I say into his eyes, meaning each word.

"Every daughter needs her mother."

"My mother died the moment she stopped caring about me. Twelve years ago."

"But she does care, can't you see?! Why else would she fly eleven thousands miles?! She was totally shocked when I told her what had happened."

"She's doing this out of guilt. But not love." I say and shrug, "Maybe even because she doesn't want you to think that she's heartless."

"But she _is not_ heartless, Gabriella. She is your mother. She cares about you. She loves you."

"She doesn't!" I yell back. "She didn't love me back then and she still doesn't love me now."

"Gabriella..." he says, sighing before he walks over to me.

"She doesn't, Troy. And I don't love her as well. I am fine without her. I grew up without a mother. I don't need her in the family portrait now, just because I am pregnant."

"But-"

"No, Troy. I have been living without her since I was sixteen. I'd rather stayed with an abusing father than a heartless mother - but I had no choice as you know. You have no idea what it was like, growing up with this superficial woman beside me."

"She just wanted you to have a good life."

"Why are you defending her?!" I ask him frowning. "Did she get under you skin with her fucking acting skills?!"

He sighs.

"Oh my God, she did! Do you... Do you _believe _her?!" I ask him shocked.

"I mean, she-"

"You do." I say, brushing through my hair. "You believe her more than me..." I mumble.

"No, I don't." he says back, reaching out to touch me.

I take a step back and shake my head, "Don't touch me."

"But I-"

"Go." I say into his eyes.

"Excuse me?"

"I asked you to leave." I say in a calm voice. How dare she! And how dare he believe her! She is nothing but lies! She has lied her whole life and now... How dare he believe her lies!

"Gabriella..."

"Get out!" I say, pointing to the foyer.

"Gabriella, don't do this..." he whispers.

I shake my head, "Leave my house!" I say into his broken blue eyes.

"Don't push me away again."

I shrug, "You shouldn't have believed her then. You dug your own grave, Troy." I mumble, brushing through my hair. "I want you to leave."

"You should talk to your mother."

"She is not my mother!" I yell at him, feeling a tear rolling down my cheek. He believes a woman who claims to love me more than he believes me. "She told you nothing but lies!"

"She didn't."

"Yeah, you think that." I say, brushing through my hair. "Get out of my house. Please."

He nods, "Will you call me?"

I shrug, "I don't know." I need time to think." And I just can't understand why you called her!

He sighs, "Okay..."

"Did you tell her about the baby?" I ask him as I watch him walking into the foyer.

He shakes his head, "No. I thought that you deserve to tell her."

I most probably won't do that, but at least he kept his mouth shut about something.

"If you just called her..."

"Go!" I say, pointing at the front door.

* * *

**A short but hopefully not bad chapter! I am so sorry for the late update. Please comment anyways?**

**Xoxo Nic**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5:**

It just doesn't get into his head, does it?!

I want absolutely nothing to do with my mother. Ever. Sure, she may be the one who gave birth to me twenty-one years ago, but that's all she really did. She never loved me. She never showed some signs of care... She is heartless. Always has been. Always will be.

As if things changed out of the sudden, just because I am pregnant. Or because I was in an accident. It all doesn't matter. At the end of the day, she is still a hypocrite.

"Gabriella, " I hear her voice saying.

My eyes turn away from the raindrops which clash against the window in the living room. No... No, she can't be here. Who let her in?! I didn't even hear the doorbell ringing.

"What are you doing here?!" I ask her, rising from the cozy pillows which I placed on the floor next to the french windows. "Who let you in? Who gave you even my address? Was it Troy?" I ask her, still not believing that she is really standing in my living room.

I'm staring at my forty five year old self. She looks like me - there is no way, you wouldn't make the connection between her and me. I have the dark brown eyes and hair color from her. I'm taller than her, thanks to my father. But other than the height, we really do look like mother and daughter. We look _so alike_.

"No, that was me." Ryan says, stepping into the living room behind her.

I frown at him. Him as well?! Has she gotten under his skin as well?! "You-"

"Troy has a point. I couldn't help but overhear your conversation with him... That's why I called her." he says with a shrug, as if this would be apologetic enough. "Talk to her... Listen to her." Ryan says, touching my shoulder before leaving her and me alone in the living room.

We're standing like two pillars of salt in this warm living room - thanks to the open fireplace.

"It's a nice house..." she says, her dark brown eyes looking around, breaking the silence.

I remain silent. Of course it is a nice house. That's why I chose to live it.

"Are you okay?" she asks me, her eyes stoping at me.

I hope I will never turn into that woman. This woman, who wears fur coats, gel nails, hair extensions and too much make up for her age. This woman, who embodies superficiality perfectly. This woman, who cares about nothing but herself - oh and the money of course.

"I am alive." I say into her eyes.

"I was pretty shocked when I got the call from Troy."

"Oh sure, you were..." I say, rolling my eyes. "It explains why you were here so fast."

"I was in Australia, okay?! I was stuck in a plane, which took twenty-one hours to be here in London. I couldn't be here faster."

I frown, "A nice lie... Really."

"It is not a lie."

"I hope you had a nice time shopping then."

"I was not there to shop. I was there because Vance and I had an event to attend to."

"Oh so it's all about your social life..."

"Gabriella..." she says, sighing.

"What? What do you want, Victoria?!" I say to her in a loud voice. Seriously, I have no idea why she showed up here!

"We haven't spoken in nearly a year... I wanted to know if you were okay."  
"I am fine. There, now you know it. Could you please leave my house now?" I say to her.

She sighs again before I watch her eyes tearing up. Oh, seriously?! "What happened to us, Gabriella?"

I fake a laugh, "Are you seriously..." I shake my head, "Seriously, Victoria?! Playing the tear-card, aren't we?"

She shakes her head, "I can't control my feelings."

"Excuse me?! Since when do you have feelings?!" I ask her in disbelief, "You heartless woman."

She brushes through her sleek dark brown hair, "I just... I'd like to understand where we went wrong."

"You want to know?! Seriously?" I ask her surprised.

She nods, "Maybe then-"

"I don't know where to start..." I say, brushing through my curls, which I got from my father. "Mhm... Let's see, how about you always leaving me alone? How about you letting me grow up by myself?"

"You were not alone. You had your father."

"A father can not raise a child like a mother would!" I yell at her. "You were always gone! ALWAYS!"

She looks shocked at me as I start yelling at her. She wanted to know.

"You didn't even... You didn't even called me on my birthdays! I was a child, for Christ's sake! Do you know how... How I felt like when I was at a friend's birthday? How loving the mother was with her child... How she threw a birthday party with _ so many colorful_ balloons..." I say, shaking my head. "And you... YOU DID NOTHING! All you did was leave me alone. Alone with a drunken father. You didn't even call for Christ's sake!"

"I didn't think it would matter." she mumbles under her breath. She probably didn't want me to hear it. But I did.

"You didn't... You didn't even think it would _matter_?!" I ask her shocked, "I was a freaking child! My mother was all that mattered for me at that time! A mother is someone _every_ girl looks up to! Every!" I explain to her. "I didn't have mine to look up to..." I say, shaking my head. "You were always gone. Always... Not once I remember you being there... Or bringing me to bed... Reading out bedtime stories. Every child wants that. But I didn't have that because my mother was fucking her boss and my father was drunk because his partner was betraying her and he had debts."

"I thought you were alright with your father."

"Guess what, I WASN'T!" I yell at her again, "I wasn't alright when he first beat me up! I wasn't alright when he continued and I certainly wasn't alright when you saw the bruises and DID NOTHING to keep him from hurting me."

"He told me that you fell off the swing."

"And you... You _believed_ him?"

"Yes." she mumbles.

"No child gets these kind of bruises from a fucking swing! I mean, don't you have any maternal instinct in yourself?!" I say, shaking my head, "Right, I shouldn't even ask. I already know the answer to that."

"It wasn't so easy." she says with tears in her eyes.

"No, it was. You weren't there when I needed you."

"I had a lot of work to do..."  
"Family should be above work, Victoria. You should have listened to me when I told you what the priest did with me. You should have believed me. I was sixteen for Christ's sake!"

She shakes her head, "I didn't think a priest could do such things."

"How else do you think I got pregnant? I wasn't the class-whore. I kept my mouth shut. All these years, I had kept my mouth shut." I say, brushing through my hair, "And when I finally had to courage to say something, you... You didn't even listen to me! And you didn't believe me. What kind of mother doesn't believe her daughter?!"

"Gabriella, I-"

"What actually made you finally believe me? Was it seeing me getting beat up by my father? Was it all the blood which surrounded my weak body as he crashed my body against the wall in our living room? Or was it the thought that maybe the neighbors could have heard us?!" I ask her with tears in my eyes.

She remains silent.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS IT?!" I yell at her, unable to keep the tears from rolling. Fucking hormones!

"Ella, calm down." I hear Ryan's voice and my head automatically turns into the direction his voice came from. He's standing in the doorframe. He's watching us. Has he been watching us the whole time?

"Calm down?!" I ask him in a disbelief, "If you wanted me to be fucking calm then you shouldn't have called that bitch!" I yell at Ryan.

"Gabriella, please." Ryan says, his blue eyes filled with worry.

"Get the fuck out of here. I don't want to start yelling at you as well." I turn my head around, my body still filled with rage. "Why the hell did you hurt me so badly while smiling?!" I ask her again. Out of the sudden, I want to know her reasons. Her motivation.

She sighs.

"Was there even... Was there even a reason why you looked away all these fucking years?!" I yell at her again. "I was six years old when he started! SIX!"

She bites on her lip as the tears roll down her eyes. Is she trying to make me feel some kind of pity? Well, I feel none.

"You don't deserve to call yourself a mother! You stopped being my mother when I was six. You stopped meaning _anything_ to me when I was sixteen. You mean nothing to me. NOTHING!"

"Gabriella, I... I never wanted to hurt you."

I nod, "Sure, that's why you let it all happen to me. That's why you chose to leave with me when I was in the hospital fighting for my life." I say, shaking my head. "To fucking MANHATTAN!" I yell again, "Do you... Can you even imagine how... How I felt like when I woke in a strange city?! I was so fucking confused when I woke up in that damn hospital!" I say and laugh, "Best part of waking up was you not being there though. As always."

"I... I was..."

"Spare me your lies, Victoria. Don't even try to, do you hear me?!" I yell into her eyes, "The first person I saw was a nurse, when it should have been my mother. The woman who gave birth to me. Instead the nurse smiled shyly when I asked her when you'd come back. You want to know what her answer was?!"

"Gabriella, please..." Ryan says.

"NO!" I yell at him. "Don't you DARE try to interact in this, Ry. Don't you DARE!" I yell at him, not having my emotions under control right now.

I watch him disappearing before I turn my head over to the figure who likes to call herself my mother.

"She said that I got delivered here by myself. She said that no one - I repeat NO ONE - has visited me in the last three weeks in which I was in a coma." I say into her eyes. "I was _so hurt_ and confused. I had no idea how I got into fucking Manhattan, let alone into a hospital."

"I was at your new school with Vance. I couldn't-"

"In three fucking weeks?! SERIOUSLY!" I yell at her again. "At least my father loved me. In a twisted way he did. But you... You don't even care about me!"

"Hey, I brought you to one of the best hospitals in the States!"

"I gave a fuck about that! You could have just let me stayed with Dad. I would have turned out less fucked up than I am right now." I say into her eyes.

"I couldn't have done that."

"Why? Because the neighbors would have started gossiping about you then? They would ask us questions like where my mother is? Well, I would have enjoyed answering those questions. At least, I wouldn't have been stucked with you then!"

"It wasn't my fault!"

"It is _all_ your fault!" I yell at her again. "All you did was fuck me up! You did every possible thing wrong a mother ever could!"

"I sent you to therapist." she mumbles, as if this would excuse her actions.

I fake a laugh, "That therapist... Of course, how could I forget about Dr. Michealson." I say and shake my head. "Were you fucking him as well?"

She ignores my question, "Vance recommended him. He is the best in the States."

I laugh, "Speaking of Vance, what exactly did you tell him about what happened to me?"

She shrugs, "That your father abused you and I didn't have the time to be home because of my work."

I nod, "Nothing but lies to conclude."

"It was the truth."

"The truth?! You want to hear the truth?!" I yell at her again. I can't believe it! "My father didn't have enough money for you and that's why you fucked your boss! That's why you fucked Vance. Because Vance is one of the richest men of America. It's all about money, with you. Always has been and always will be."

"That's not true. It's not the reason why I'm here."

"Why are you here then? You have no conscience, so that can't be the reason..." I say frowning before I get it. "The press... You're here because of the press. Of course you have to be by the side of your heroic daughter out of the sudden. Really, Victoria?! Have you really fallen this deep?"

"I wanted to know if you were okay."

"You want the publicity! You want everyone to see that you are the perfect mother! You want to keep this fucking happy family portrait alive!" I yell again. "Guess what, THERE IS NONE! I fucking left you as soon as I could!"

She starts crying in front of my eyes.

"Stop showing me your fake tears!" I yell at her. I can't believe she's trying to make me feel pity. "I am fucking glad I left you years ago. I am better of without you. I don't need you. I will _never_ need you. You fucking ruined my life!"

"Enough!" I hear a voice yelling. It's a deep, strong male voice. It's not Ryan's, I notice immediately.

It takes me a second to connect this voice to a person due to all my anger. My head swings around and I stare into blue eyes. Icy cold blue eyes. Troy is standing in the doorframe of the living room, filling up the whole place with his powerful presence. What is he doing here?!

I frown as my eyes still watch him. Automatically my eyes dance down his body. He's wearing a simple white oxford shirt and dark blue jeans. His dirty blonde hair is gelled up. Has he been at work?

"Enough, Gabriella." he repeats in a calmer tone before walking over to me.

Who let him in? What is he doing here? Why is he here?

In the corner of my eye, I can see Victoria getting herself together again. She knows that I won't freak out now. He fucking saved her.

"You should go." I say to Troy as he stops in front of me. I am barely able to hide my anger from him.

"No, I will stay." he says before he leans forward to my ear, "Now would you please calm down?! I'd really like to have a healthy baby with you, you know."

I gulp, in all my rage I forgot that I should lower my stress level. Damn it. "Okay..." I whisper to him, faking a smile. Shit, how could I have forgotten about my own daughter?! It's all Victoria's fault! If she hadn't showed up here, then I wouldn't have gotten so angry. And as always, my mother is to blame.

"Well, I guess I should go now..." I hear Victoria saying as she is already walking out of the living room.

"NO!" I yell at her. I won't let her walk away just like that. If our relationship is going down, I want it to be quick, painless and explosive. She needs to understand that this _will be_ the last time she will see me. I'm not going to have the power to put myself through this again. Not another time. This _has_ to be the last time. For the sake of my family - and me.

"Gabriella." Troy warns me in a soft voice, though his eyes are anything but soft and warm.

"You will stay." I say to Victoria. "And you will go." I say to Troy, who looks worried.

Victoria turns around in her white fur coat. She looks surprised at me. I don't know what surprises her, really. Is it me yelling at her in front of Troy? Or is it Troy actually being with me in one room?

"But I-"

"Go." I say into his eyes, nodding. "I'm trying to calm down. I promise. Just leave me and my mother alone."

He nods. I knew that I would get him by calling Victoria the one thing she will never be: my mother.

Troy walks passed Victoria, smiling at her politely.

"Victoria." he greets her.

She nods at him, "Troy." She returns his smile before she turns her attention towards me again.

"Nothing you will ever do or say will make up for what you did. For what damage you caused." I say into her already teary eyes again. "I learned how to live without you at the age of six years. I learned how to deal with the bruises my father caused. I learned how to live without a mother. I understood pretty quickly, that I would never have the mother other children at my age had. I understood and accepted it. It made my stronger." I say into her eyes. "It made me who I am."

"Listen, I-"

"No, you listen." I interrupt her. "From this day on, I never want to see or hear from you again. I want you to understand that I am not your daughter. There is absolutely no connection between you and I. You have no part in my life. And you will have no part in the life of my dau-" I stop my mouth from saying the word daughter. No, she doesn't have to know that.

Her dark eyes dance down my body. She's scanning me. Oh fuck, did she get the hint?! "You're pregnant?" she asks me surprised.

Fuck. Too late. "Yes... Yes, I am pregnant." I say into her eyes, which out of the sudden sparkle. Oh no, does she think she will be a grandmother?! "I want you to leave me alone. Me and my family, do you hear me?! You will not be a grandmother to this child. God knows, that you would fuck your relationship up with her as well." I say into her eyes, "She doesn't need this. I am fucked up enough, I don't want my daughter to be this way."

"You can not keep me away from my grandchild."

"I can and I will. I will do anything to keep her away from _you_." I threaten her. "She is _my_ daughter. She doesn't deserve to know a woman like you. A heartless hypocrite."

"I am not a heartless hypocrite." she says into my eyes, "I had my reasons for acting the way I did."

"In other words: money."

She sighs, "I'm not going to deny it, wealth has always been something I wanted for my family."

"You mean yourself."

"No, I mean my family." she emphasizes. "I did what I did because I wanted you to have a good life. A life without any financial problems."

"I needed a mother not a fucking apartment on the Upper East Side!" I say to her. "I needed love from you, not a brand new black AMEX!"

"I thought it was easier this way..."

"Easier?!" I ask her, faking a laugh. "You have a weird way of making things _easier_! Money, doesn't make you happy."

"But it does make life a little easier."

I roll my eyes, "You will never able to buy my love." I say into her eyes.

"A daughter should love her mother anyways."

I laugh again, "I agree... Every daughter loves her mother. Every daughter, but me."

She nods, "I hope your daughter will love you then as well."

"She will, because I won't try to buy her love and fuck every man walking."

She slaps me out of the sudden. "I am not a whore."

My cheeks burns. It hurts like hell. I touch my cheek, as if my hand could cool the burn underneath it. I'm shocked that she had the strength to touch me, let alone hit me. "You are dead to me, Victoria. You mean nothing to me." I say into her eyes, which are widen in shock. Is it because of my words or because she slapped me? I don't know. I don't really care, to be honest. "I want you out of my life. Stay away from me and my family. Don't bother to contact me after today. Never again. Not on my birthday. Not on Christmas. Not on New Year's Eve. Not on any other day. Never again." I say, my eyes glowing with anger.

She nods, before brushing through her hair, "I'm glad you're okay then. Have a nice life, Gabriella."

"Oh and tell Vance to not contact me when you died, please." I add as she turns around to walk away.

"You know what's funny?" she asks, turning around halfway, "You're as stubborn as me... And as cold as me."

"GET OUT!" I yell at her.

"One day, you will realize that family members come and go... But money will stay with you until your last breath."

"I'm sure you will die choking due to all the money you have made while fucking around." I say to her as I watch her walking through the foyer.

"I am a faithful wife. I may have not been a good mother, but I am a good wife."

"Sure, you want me to call Vance and inform him about why you suddenly were in front of his apartment door with a sixteen year old girl? I'm sure he'd love to hear the real reason."

Her eyes widen in fear, "You wouldn't dare!"

"Take a step into my life again and I swear I will do it. Ruining your life is just one call away..." I say, walking over to her. "But you know what? I won't do it." I say before I move over to her ear, "Because I actually have a heart. Unlike you."

Without a word, she opens the white wooden front door of my house.

"Well, I wish you a good life, Gabriella." she says to me.

"I'd like to say the same, but I'm not a liar, so..." I shrug. "Get back to the States and never contact me again."

She says nothing, but I'm sure she heard me.

I watch Victoria catching herself a black cab. I am surprised that she doesn't have her personal driver with her. Suddenly I see a flash appearing. Wait a second, are there paparazzi in front of my house?! Did they... Did they fucking followed us from the hospital?! Do they have my address? Do they actually know where I live? Do _all_ the paparazzi know where I live? Will I be stalked by paparazzi from this day on? Because I saved a little girl's life? Because I am in a relationship with Troy again? Because we're expecting a child? A daughter? No, wait, they don't know that yet... No, it can't be because of our daughter.

I frown. No, it was just one flash...

"Are you okay?" I hear Troy asking me.

I turn around, "You wanted me to talk to her..." I say to him. "I kicked her out of my life."

"She's your mother. She will always be part of your life."

"Do you think I am cold and stubborn?" I ask before closing the front door. The door of my past.

He laughs before brushing through my hair, "Stubborn, definitely. But cold... No, you are anything but cold, Gabriella." he says, shaking his head. "You have the biggest heart I know. When you love someone, you love this person unconditionally. Your love is unbelievably strong and warm... It is anything but cold." he says into my eyes. "Who told you that?"

"Victoria." I say to him.

He sighs, before embracing me. "You guys really never will have a normal relationship, will you?"

"Will you love me less, when I say that our daughter will only have one grandmother?" I ask him, looking into his eyes. "I'm sure Victoria would manage to fuck up her life as well, you know."

He shakes his head, "It will only make me love you more."

* * *

**A new chapter. Please review!**

**Xoxo Nic**


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